Wednesday, 30 August 2017

A Wild Story Appeared..

This is a story all about how some lives got flipped turned upside down.. it's chapter one of the tale literally no-one asked for, creatively named "Police, Thieves and Merchants".. let's have a read..

Police, Thieves and Merchants

Chapter 1: Crying Wine Merchants

It was dark during the day. Eleven travellers turned up to stare, some quickly glanced away. The shining light up above had faded fast to be replaced with a darkened circle upon a fiery outline.
It had been this way for two minutes. The travellers stood scattered across the path wandering aloud as to how this could occur. A few argued it was the work of their god, as is the norm when facing the unknown. Of course they believed everything was the work of their god anyway so it wasn't a very enlightening opinion for them. Additionally, those who put their faith in the more scientific organizations were arguing their viewpoints.
One argued that the sun had died and that they would all freeze to death. He had taken to shouting manically, throwing his arms up and gesturing wildly to make it known that his point is the correct one. Another followed the theory that their world is a round spherical object called a planet, constantly spinning and flying in and out of light and dark. He argued that the planet had taken a diversion and was leaving the light early today, possibly to never follow it's original path and return. He had a more sombre tone, wistful for the day-time he had lost forever. Of the rest, they agreed that the sun had been eaten by a giant monster and someone needed to defeat the monster and cut it back out again. They thought this was far more interesting than the scientific or religious opinions and were discussing how such a hero would get up there to kill it.
Cax sniffed at the air, allowing the scent of the pine trees swaying in the breeze at the side of the path to blow through his nostrils.
What fools” he thought, as he gazed at the trees surrounding the path on either side. The travel-stained, barely purple robe he had received upon being admitted into the group swirled around his ankles as he cocked his head against the breeze. He attempted to listen out for any signs that they were being tracked before the loud, bitter conversation hauled him back into it's embrace.
Look” someone stated in a mournful tone, “look, look... look. Clearly this is not what you want to hear but we have left the light, the sun is gone and is never coming back. No gods will be returning it to us.”
The work of the gods almighty can't be understood by mortal men Briax, we'll be lucky if we get a hint of their plan.”
Now, now Pollux don't be morbid, there are always signs if we know how to read them.”
I wonder how we didn't hear the monster before now.”
Stop screaming Lax! Also, there is no monster.”
What swallowed the sun then?”.
Nothing, there will be signs from the gods.”
Oh sure Cax but you say everything is signs from them. What sign is the monster?”
I reckon I could kill it.”
There is nothing to kill because there is no monster, the signs are all around us – oh do shut up Lax!”
How would you kill it Throx?”
Now look here... look... look.. this conversation is meaningless, we need to start getting used to the era of the night!”
Night people? That is interesting... But no the monster must be huge!”
There are signs all over the landscape..”
I see a sign that the sun is dead.”
I'll need a big knife, but when I have that, it's just a matter of timing and preci..”
Wait! Briax, did you hear that rustle?”
I didn't hear a rustle Paxter but there was a distinctive hustle, as in let's go- let's hustle!”
Shut up! It was absolutely a rustle.”
Sounded like a tussle to me.”
Where did it come from?”
The ruffle came from the back of the carts.”
Now your being stupid, it is definite rustling.”
No a hustle, it's getting further away.”
Which means that whatever is rustling is getting further away.”
Or more probably the tussle is..”
Sounds like a big kerfuffle.”
Right! I'm seeing what's making that rustle,” Paxter exclaimed as he broke away from the group.
Nothing if you ask me, but I could check on the bustle.”
Paxter spun round. “Bustle?! What planet are you on, how does that rustle sound even remotely like a bustle?!”
Xa cleared his throat.
Well what you mistake for a rustle is actually clearly people bustling against one another to get away.”
That's the hustle!”
No Briax, not a hustle that's more co-ordinated, this is definite bustling sound.”
Xa, your fucking stupid, it's clearly a tussle otherwise whatever it was would have bustled, hustled, rustled away by now!”
Oh Throx, sweet Throx.. all you care about is fights and there is no fight here.. just a kerfuffle.. someone fucked up.”
I'm joining the tussle..”
Don't you have your big monster to fight first Throx?”

The argument continued on for several minutes. Meanwhile the thieves rustling in the back of the wine merchant's cart bustled to get as much of the precious stock as they could. There was a tussle and a couple of scuffles, plus one thief managed to have a kerfuffle and tripped over. There was certainly no hustle though as the thieves ran in a disorganised mess splitting up as they raced away from the emptied cart.

As the sun reappeared behind the shadow there were tears in the merchants' eyes, partly from relief and partly from distress over their missing cargo. All except Cax, who considered himself stubbornly correct in both his previous assertions.

Wow.. impressive.. you made it through. That's it for chapter 1. Check back on the CWM blog for more randomness.. coming soon..

Saturday, 12 August 2017

1st Gig

Hello and welcome to this... blog. I'm not sure what generally goes on in blogs but this will be a place where the band can write about whatever takes their fancy.. so expect anything! Literally anything at all!

Seeing as we just played our first gig I thought I'd kick things off with the thoughts going through my head as we played or first song live.. ever. Enjoy... or not I guess depending on your mood..

The reassuringly even wood of the stage rests beneath my feet as I scamper about
wondering what I'm missing. Twizzle, twizzle, twizzle. The various knobs around the
drum-set inhabiting the rear of the stage need adjusting to the perfect, optimum level.
A quick glance up and everyone else on stage is not near as frantic against the backdrop
of darkened silhouettes waiting in judgement.
Drumsticks! Of course i'm missing that slightly essential item to play the drums.
Quickly I'm dashing in the back room and out again leaping through the tangled,
forest of wires which make up the floor of the stage and back behind the kit.
Back to frantic twizzling I suppose until everything is just right.. except that
cymbal stand. Why won't it stay completely still? It does look a bit wobbly.
Just a few more tightens and it should be fine.. Everyone is turning towards me with
a questioning look of expectation: clearly they want me to hurry.
"Are you ready?"
"Yeah, for the line check?"
"Yer.. I don't think there's a line check."
Ah shit first no sound check now no line check. Well there's only so much that can
go wrong on a first gig. I give the bass drum a few kicks and hit the snare a
couple of times to confirm with myself that this drum-kit does make sounds
before giving a nod of confirmation.

Rob begins far too immediately and I'm in drum mode, ticking down until the rest
of us come in and.. Bam! I've started and my first thought is how awesome the new snare sounds
crackling out as it gets belted in the intro. Wait that cymbal hit felt a bit
weak.. I look up and the pesky cymbal stand has already decided to flip the crash
back over itself away from me. Of course this now initiates a chaotic few moments where I
have no idea whether to keep trying to hit the rebellious thing or just depend on
the ride.. Somehow I manage to decide to do both as we belt on into the verse.

Muscle memory and vain pride motivate me to keep using the crash despite it's
awkward state but it soon becomes obvious that I'm going to have to abandon this
dumbass strategy. By the chorus I'm all about the ride and find some breathing space
to actually think about what everyone is doing. It all sounds good from what I can
tell and I'm sure the mass of blackened blobs beyond the stage light are
enjoying themselves wonderfully.

Soon though it's back to chaotic neural patterns as I try to figure out in
approximately 1 second how to play our cymbal-heavy intro with just a ride.
For some bizarre reason this appears to go well and I can feel myself really
getting into the music.. except is this too slow? This has got to be too slow.
How is no-one else in the band glaring at me yet? This is a snail's pace
compared to practice- I'm pretty sure the entire audience is leaving in disgust.
And... calm down.. breathe.. listen to Dory... just keep playing.. the blobs are
still with us.

The second chorus is coming to a close.. this is where I get my little break..
HOLY SHIT YES. Thank christ I can actually adjust that cymbal! Tom laughs
as I grin at the finally well-positioned, glimmering sheet of metal. I celebrate by
smashing it as I come back in mid-bridge and it gloriously stays where it's supposed to.
Wait a sec.. that kick drum sounds a bit off. I look down to see the pedal veering off
to the right, completely inconsiderate to it's supposed job of smashing repeatedly
into the bass drum in front of it. Great.. and we're off into the final, loud, smashing chorus.

Come on pedal.. stay with me.. don't fuck off now.. I find myself staring keenly
at my feet as Rob comes over in some sort of guitar inertia for some serious guitar-
drummer stare-off time. I'd love to join, I'm never one to miss a guitar-drummer stare off
but that pedal is inching away just a little bit.. Stay with me pedal, stay with me
cymbal- we're heading into the crescendo and... made it! Haha! That was excellent!!
The blobs are all still here! Time for some serious fiddling before the next song begins
as the music quietens down and John begins segregating the crowd into people who know us
and people who don't..

Wow you made it to the end of that?! Check out the grand band blog for more things you weren't really looking for!